Moron
by WhiteLadyDragon
Summary: He fails to see what he did wrong; he's only following protocol. A companion fic to "Story Of The Century". L x OC.


**_Disclaimer! _****All fictional entities featured/ mentioned in this segment belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata; except Erin Blogger, who I made up for the purpose of this fan fiction.**

**_MORON_**

He fails to see what he did wrong. He was only following protocol: every item entering headquarters must be checked. She is aware of the routine, isn't she? At the period of time she's spent here, he would expect her to be.

She's never been comfortable with men handling her…personal items. After all, they call it "_feminine _hygiene" for a reason. Throughout the course of their whole outing, she'd insisted on handling and purchasing them herself, even going so far as to find an open register with a female clerk when the time had come to check out. Why, she had even tried to leave headquarters on her own; the only reason she had relented to letting Matsuda drive was because Misa would be going with them. Besides, it's not as if she'd had a choice: she cannot leave the facility without a member of the task force accompanying her.

Upon returning with Matsuda and Misa, she is dangerously close to losing it when he steps up to examine the contents in her bag (just when she'd thought she was home-free), particularly when his attention is drawn to the 15-count box of tampons. Despite her goading to leave her things alone ("Hey, come on man, I don't go sifting through _your _stuff!"), he opens the box to hold up a wrapped tampon to his nose.

Does he consider _nothing _sacred?

She and Misa are the closest he's ever been around the female persuasion (with the exception of Naomi Misora, but then, he hadn't had to live with her at any point in time). Therefore, he can't help but notice what a peculiar invention the tampon is. How did one use it? Perhaps the instructions on the box will enlighten him—

She snatches the box back like a falcon snatching a rabbit before ripping the tampon out of his fingers, looking ready to spit in his eye. She doesn't spit in his eye, but does spit out the following: "Y-y'know, for a so-called genius, you're a real moron, sometimes! I mean it: a dirty stinkin' moron!" Her face is as red as an apple as she storms off with the bag clenched in one fist, while the other shoots up to vigorously rub out what he suspects to be tears out of her eyes.

_"God!"_

It isn't uncommon for her to act like this whenever their wills clash, but he's noted that around certain times of the month, her mood and according reactions are more intense, and are triggered over relatively small, insignificant stimuli, such as in this case.

After Misa reprimands him for being "a pervert and a bully," she rushes off after her, leaving him and Light alone in the monitor room. After several minutes of tension-laced silence, he decides to ask for Light's two cents. He'd possess more knowledge on the topic than he does, having a mother and sister at home, as well as being the type that girls would consider "attractive" and "approachable."

After all, Kira is a master at manipulation.

"Light, you have more experience with girls than I do. Are irritability and tearfulness typical behavior exhibited in girls during their cycles?"

Being the gentleman that he is, Light clears his throat before giving him an answer. "Well…yeah, kind of. It's a…hormonal thing. Although, that _was _kind of an inconsiderate thing to do, Ryuzaki."

"I am only following protocol."

"Maybe, but I think you could've handled it a little better. I'm fairly certain that 'protocol' doesn't involve making someone cry."

Somehow, he can see Kira saying the same thing.

So, was it a hormone imbalance that made her snap at him? Or genuine displeasure, as usual? An interaction of both factors, perhaps?

He is not a moron, especially not of the "dirty stinkin'" variety. Still, he can't see what he's done wrong. He is only following the protocol he has established.

Not to say that he enjoys seeing her upset: something she often seems to be every time they interact. His inability to do anything to help her doesn't do much to help things, either.

**_END_**


End file.
